Living life means letting things go...

..."In the end, enjoying life's experiences is the only rational thing to do. You're sitting on a planet spinning around in the middle of absolutely nowhere. Go ahead, take a look at reality. You’re floating in empty space in a universe that goes on forever. If you have to be here, at least be happy and enjoy the experience. You’re going to die anyway. Things are going to happen anyway. Why shouldn’t you be happy? You gain nothing by being bothered by life’s events. It doesn’t change the world; you just suffer. There’s always going to be something that can bother you, if you let it.” ― Michael A. Singer, The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself

In my entire twenties, I was a clumsy nerd-turned-bad-girl who had absolutely no realistic registration of herself and her humble place in the station of life, yet at the same time so deeply absorbed in her ego and her projection onto the world. Her own 'version of the truth'.. This led to me being an insensitive person to the people around, as well as missing many opportunities to develop & grow my mind. Now at the beginning of a new decade, the year of thirties, I am slowly gaining a sense of who I actually am and my limitations. By reaching inside myself every single day, I am trying to release the pent-up emotional blockades of the past decade, in order to get 'free' from the limited mental model of the world that has held my world hostage inside my own mind. In doing so, I hope to become a more mature, measured woman in my thirties, leading a life guided by 'the lights' and inner calm, who is no longer driven by the ebbs & flows of external forces, who enjoys every moment of living instead of clinging to past pleasures & mistakes, because...I used to think of myself as a worldly person. Now I get to know the true meaning of that, and indeed, I was really 'worldly'

"Worldly means that you think the solution to your inner problems is in the world outside. You think that if you change things outside, you’ll be okay. But nobody has ever truly become okay by changing things outside. There’s always the next problem. The only real solution is to take the seat of witness consciousness and completely change your frame of reference."

And in the end...

“You really don’t need more time before death; what you need is more depth of experience during the time you’re given.”

Probably you are thinking I'm another one of those lunatic hippies who's so keen on 'brainwashing' others, or trying to convince the world of their magnanimous personalities in order to escape from the real 'shit' of life. But I'm not here to convince anyone, or to make anyone like me. I'm just trying to figure out my way in the world, and to be more self-aware. And in my personal journey that has been full of bumps & potholes so far, I realize that I need to find my inner peace in order not to have the world spins me around each time I run into an obstacle. And that all my problems so far with life have been driven by a single source of trouble: the commotion within my mind.

If you are like me, up until now you've never officially acknowledged one important eternal truth about our lives: “The truth is that most of life will unfold in accordance with forces far outside your control, regardless of what your mind says about it”. Because if I have and if you have, we would not have moaned so much about our current conditions in life. That we would have taken life in better strides, acquiescing to the fact that a lot of times 'shit' happens no matter what, yet 'shit' is actually not shit depending on how you view it. That we would have stopped griping this very instant about how 'unfair' life has been...And that we would have stopped trying to have everything figured out by the age of thirty.

I wanted to own a house with a nice garden and a nice car by the age of 30; my other Ivy league friends set the goal of having a million dollars in their bank account; others want to have married/earned an MBA/traveled to 100 countries by 30. We push so hard and blame ourselves so hard when we/I eventually fell so far short of these imaginary deadlines. And deep inside, I still didn't really want to let go of this guilt. After all, all this 'push' & negative mechanism has helped me pull through life doggedly so far and even achieved my American Dream when I turned 20. I don't really wanna let go of all this 'dream big' and 'go big' in my mind; yet the more I progress in life, I have only been disappointed by my own unfulfilled expectations, and now that I already entered the age of 30, I just could not move on and accept the reality of where I am. It's time I try to find an anchor in the vast universe of my inner psyche, because without the peace and acceptance of myself, I just can't seem to move on into the next chapter of life, let alone trying to 'reach greater heights'.

"To achieve this state, simply allow the experience of life to come in and pass through your being. If old energies come back up because you were unable to process them before, let go of them now...Of course it hurts when it comes up. It was stored with pain; it's going to release with pain. You have to decide if you want to continue to walk around with stored pain blocking your heart and limiting your life. It only hurts for a minute and then it's over."

So if you're still interested and reading this far, I just want to share that a lot of my self-discovery journey has been guided by the spiritual mastery contained within the book, The Untethered Soul, which I have already mentioned multiple times in the previous posts. Let me reveal some more glimpses into the passages that have guided me, as I slowly touch upon my spiritual consciousness...

“To get some distance from this, you first need to get some perspective. Walk outside on a clear night and just look up into the sky. You are sitting on a planet spinning around in the middle of absolutely nowhere. Though you can only see a few thousand stars, there are hundreds of billions of stars in our Milky Way Galaxy alone. In fact, it is estimated that there are over a trillion stars in the Spiral Galaxy. And that galaxy would look like one star to us, if we could even see it. You’re just standing on one little ball of dirt and spinning around one of the stars. From that perspective, do you really care what people think about your clothes or your car? Do you really need to feel embarrassed if you forget someone’s name? How can you let these meaningless things cause pain? If you want out, if you want a decent life, you had better not devote your life to avoiding psychological pain. You had better not spend your life worrying about whether people like you or whether your car impresses people. What kind of life is that? It is a life of pain. You may not think that you feel pain that often, but you really do. To spend your life avoiding pain means it’s always right behind you.”

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“If you want to be happy, you have to let go of the part of you that wants to create melodrama. This is the part that thinks there’s a reason not to be happy. You have to transcend the personal, and as you do, you will naturally awaken to the higher aspects of your being. In the end, enjoying life’s experiences is the only rational thing to do. You’re sitting on a planet spinning around in the middle of absolutely nowhere. Go ahead, take a look at reality. You’re floating in empty space in a universe that goes on forever. If you have to be here, at least be happy and enjoy the experience. You’re going to die anyway. Things are going to happen anyway. Why shouldn’t you be happy? You gain nothing by being bothered by life’s events. It doesn’t change the world; you just suffer. There’s always going to be something that can bother you, if you let it.”

“Everything will be okay as soon as you are okay with everything. And that’s the only time everything will be okay.”