Coronavirus quarantine is time for ... the soul

... it might sound extremely ironic, but in these uncertain, fearful times, searching within yourself to find the resilience and self-awareness needed to remain calm is ever more necessary...

A book I have been mulling over, slowly and deliberately for the past few weeks, is 'The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself'.

I don't know about you, but my thoughts are most of the time a hindrance to my own life. Those noisy and crowded thoughts are voices of a constant roommate inside my head who always nudges me towards rash decisions, leading me down a self-fulfilling cycle of doubts and critical self-judgement.

Not anyone else but my own self is the one who constantly judges me for my past behaviors & mistakes, who keeps telling me how stupid and ignorant I have been. How I have wasted by my life by forsaking a prestigious degree of the Yale education, forsaking the possibilities of a well-paying job, wealth and social prestige, in exchange for the lowly pursuit of love and happiness, for traveling and such laughable cardinal pleasures. The mean, self-critical voice within me that keeps telling me how much of a sore disappointment I am to myself and my family. Had I been any wiser and more strategic in my twenties, I would have been able to elevate my brother and sister in Vietnam to a better life, or bring my parents out to see the world, or build up a proper upward rising career path, and by now, at the ripe age of 30, I would have had money and some material prizes. Having a house and my own car would have been nice. The voice tells me that I am a selfish, short-sighted shallow girl who lacks in self-awareness of my own limited stature and abilities, who daydreams and wastes all the great opportunities life has conferred upon me, and because of me, my family didn't move out of their own cycle of ignorance, my brother still struggles for his livelihood, and my sister has had such a hard time entering real life.

Over the pages, the book helps me see how my thoughts are actually not part of who I am, and I am the central driver of my consciousness.

I have the power to change & control my thoughts. I learn slowly that I should look forward instead of forever looking backward in biting regrets. That looking forward means forgiving myself for all the past 'mistakes'. It means giving myself the recognition of how far in the life journey I have come along. Recognizing that I came from a very disadvantaged background, that I didn't have any a proper family education or adult guidance nor mentorship, no one had really been there when I was growing up and going through the trials & tribulations of being alone in a foreign country, to nudge me in the 'right' direction. And that I have always had to figure everything in life by myself, that I had always been completely alone in dealing with life hardships and challenges. That everything I have now in my life, I made it out completely on my own, without any helping hand and support...

The book helps me realize that, in moving forward, I should use the mental resilience and steel determination I have always possessed within me, in order to gear towards a success by my own definition. That means stop complaining about the meager salary I receive, or the few material possessions I currently own. That means doing my best each day, at any tasks big or small in my company position. That means learning and accumulating critical skills every day as stepping stones towards a better position down the road.

There is no moving forward without growth. And growth has to start from within yourself.

During this uncertain time, you should too. Use this period of quiet and low activity to find some peace and look within yourself. Who are you? What is your dream and aspiration? What drives you every day? And find within yourself the strength and resilience to chase away the 'negative' roommate who might happen to co-exist as well in your mind. After all, at the end of the day, you only have this one life to live and this one self to deal with life's tragedies and unfairness. To learn to recognize your current situation and how to move forward instead of complaining and regretting, is a major step along the path of growth and transformation.